Can Sex Become Problematic?
Yes, sexual behaviors often become problematic for a wide variety of reasons. Sometimes a person engages in sexual activity that violates their own values or the values of others. They may also engage in activities that violate their commitment to other people, such as a spouse or intimate partner. This is when thorough and accurate assessment and diagnosis of these behaviors is essential.
Some people can make adjustments to their behaviors and eliminate the problems. At times, however, these behaviors can become out of control, rising to the level of an addiction. These individuals may need more intensive interventions and treatment.
What is Sex Addiction?
Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the field, has defined sexual addiction as “a pathological relationship with a mood-altering experience.” This means that sex is not the enemy, but the relationship we have with sex that can become a problem.
Sex is a natural desire. It brings pleasure and meaning to our lives. Yet out-of-control sexual behavior can impact our health and can be damaging to relationships. When the reward pathways in our brain become hijacked, sex gets associated with a survival need, and we will do just about anything to obtain it, even if it means hurting ourselves or the ones we love. This is when sex may become addictive.
How do I know if I have a Sexual Addiction?
Identifying sex addiction is complicated. It is not about how often you have sex, who you have sex with or even the kind of sex you like. It is about how problematic your sexual behavior has become and how difficult it is to maintain control over your sexual desires.
This is only made more complicated by the numerous messages we have received about sexual behavior from our society or religion. It can be very confusing to know if what you are dealing with is healthy sexual expression, a problematic sexual behavior (PSB), or an addiction that needs treatment. This is why you may need help from a trained professional who is able to have an objective, clinically valid way of assessing for PSB and addiction.
How do I get help?
The first step in getting help is identifying the problem. The proper assessment of problematic sexual behaviors is critical. As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), I specialize in the assessment, diagnosis and treatment of problematic sexual behaviors (PSB) and sexual addiction. If you and/or your partner are confused about whether or not sex has become problematic or out of control, I would be happy to partner with you and help you find answers. I offer individual and couples’ assessments and can treat both the person with sexual behaviors as well as their partners. Group therapy is also an effective means of treatment.
